


Hidden Desires

by penguingal, Schnaucl (Onetrackmind)



Category: Numb3rs
Genre: Incest, M/M, comment porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-02
Updated: 2006-04-02
Packaged: 2017-11-21 06:36:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/594595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penguingal/pseuds/penguingal, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onetrackmind/pseuds/Schnaucl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don and Charlie have acknowledged their feelings for each other but have decided not to act on them.  Then Don gets shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hidden Desires

Don walked through the office, studying the files he'd just been handed regarding his latest case. The investigation had reached a standstill and he was hoping something in the thick stack of papers might clue him in on how to get it started again. He was a few steps from the conference room when a familiar voice called out his name. "Hey, Charlie," Don greeted his brother, leading him into the conference room, letting the door shut behind him. "What's up?"  
  
"Not much, just had some free time, thought I'd come by and see if you needed my help with anything." Charlie wandered around the room, looking at the crime scene and victim photos and the brothers soon fell into a familiar, if impersonal kind of rhythm, one they'd perfected lately. Don let his eyes wander over Charlie's frame as his brother thought out loud. He looked particularly good today, Don decided, loose jeans still managing to show off his hips, button-down shirt under a tan sports jacket accenting his caramel skin.  
  
"Don." Charlie's slightly sharp tone snapped him out of his thoughts. "You're doing it again."  
  
Don creased his brow. "Doing what?"  
  
"Staring at me, and not _just_ staring at me. Staring at me like you want to eat me for dinner." Charlie's eyes were big round things and his hands were wringing together slightly. "It's--it's very hard to concentrate with you focusing on me like that."  
  
Sighing, Don took a step back, rubbing his hands over his eyes, letting the subject drop and returning to discussing the case.  
  
Charlie tried to focus on the case, tried not to sneak looks at his brother. When Don asked if he wanted to order Chinese and keep working Charlie begged off. Being around Don was fraying the edges of his control and he--they--couldn't risk anything happening.  
  
Looking down at the floor, Don nodded, letting Charlie go. He let his eyes follow him as he crossed the office, glad no one else was around. He was hard under his jeans and they were too tight. Sighing, he rubbed his eyes again. They'd been over and over the reasons it was a bad idea for them to act on these feelings that pulled at them. They'd agreed, mutually, to keep them buried. Didn't keep it from tearing him apart a little each time he had to resort to his own hand and pretend it was Charlie just to get some relief.  
  
....  
  
He had dinner with his dad then retreated to the garage for several hours, preferring to use math as a distraction from his brother. It was getting more and more difficult to keep that line between them, to keep hands and eyes where they belonged.  
  
It was late at night a few days later and Don sat, slumped in his chair staring at the same set of photos he'd been staring at for the last three days. They still told him nothing and he could feel the case getting colder. He nearly jumped straight out of his skin when a soft hand landed on his shoulder. "Fuck, Charlie. Sorry. I didn't hear you come in."  
  
"Didn't mean to startle you," Charlie said softly, taking a large step back, putting some extra distance between them.   
  
Don took a deep breath. "It's okay, really. Did you find something?"  
  
"Yeah, here," Charlie pulled a white board over and started scribbling, explaining as he went along. They worked quickly together, pulling papers out and hovering close to each other. He turned his head, realizing how close they were standing. He could smell Charlie's shampoo, and he couldn't help himself. His fingers ghosted down Charlie's spine, just barely brushing it.  
  
Charlie jerked away. "Don," he gasped, voice shaking.  
  
"Sorry, I'm sorry," Don said immediately.   
  
"Don't be sorry, just stop touching me!" Charlie whispered hoarsely. "I can't do this if you keep _touching_ me!"  
  
Don and Charlie locked eyes for a long minute, the distance between them seemingly insurmountable, until Don finally dropped his head to his chest and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. He threw himself into the nearest chair and looked fixedly at the floor. "It's getting harder, isn't it?" he said softly, a high note of misery in his voice.  
  
"Yeah," Charlie said softly. "It is." He ran a hand through his hair and tried to refocus on the whiteboard. It wasn't fair. None of this was fair.  
  
It was ridiculous, Don thought to himself. If they both wanted this, both needed it this badly, what was the harm? It wasn't like they were with other people. No one would get hurt. Except, it wasn't _right_. There was too much risk--to their Dad, to their careers, to their own relationship as brothers. So this is what they did, stamped down hard on their own feelings to protect what they had. And instead of the feelings diminishing over time, they simply grew and festered like an infection, poisoning the very relationship they were trying to preserve. It was so twisted it was almost poetic.   
  
After a long moment of silence, Don finally breathed a long sigh. "Yeah. Well. Thanks for your help, Charlie. This should give us some solid leads. I-I really appreciate it." His hand came up to pat Charlie on the shoulder but he stopped and let it fall. "Dad wants me to come to dinner tomorrow."  
  
"Okay. I um, I have this thing so I probably won't be there," he said lamely.  
  
"Charlie--"  
  
"Don, I can't," he whispered, staring resolutely at the floor. "I can't be around you and not want-- I just can't."  
  
Don bit his lip, wishing he knew how to take the pain in his brother's voice away. "You know Dad is going to want you there. And he'll wonder why you're not."  
  
"No he won't," Charlie said quietly. "I'll just tell him that I'm working."  
  
Sighing, Don nodded again. He knew his Dad would press him for answers, wondering if they were fighting again, and he'd have nothing he could tell him. "Yeah, okay. You should probably go home and get some rest. I'll--I'll see you later."  
  
"Don--it's not that I don't want to be around you. It's that I want it too much," Charlie said softly. He knew he wasn't telling Don anything he didn't already know, but the pain and disappointment in Don's voice tore at him.  
  
"I know," Don sighed. "Me too." He shook his head, biting his lip again. Lifting his eyes, he tried to refocus on the case. Charlie's insights would help a lot and with any luck, they'd have this thing wrapped up in the next couple days. "It's okay, really. I just wish I knew how to make things easier, on both of us." He put his hands in his pockets, glancing quickly at his watch.   
  
"It's getting late. You want me to drive you home?"  
  
"I'll catch a cab. Good night, Don." And despite the fact that he'd just been angry about Don touching him he couldn't stop himself from reaching out to squeeze Don's shoulder.  
  
Don didn't protest the double standard, just leaned a little into Charlie and then let him go.   
  
....  
  
When Charlie arrived back at the house late the next night, he was almost glad to see Don's SUV wasn't parked in the driveway. Almost. He hated everything about the awkwardness between them, but couldn't see any way to fix it. He let himself into the house and was immediately accosted by their father.  
  
"My god, Charlie, have you heard from Don?"  
  
"No. Why? I thought he was supposed to come here for dinner tonight."  
  
"He was, but he never showed up. And I haven't heard from him. I don't know where he is." Charlie watched as his Dad paced nervously around the living room and a sliver of panic settled in Charlie's stomach.   
  
"It's-it's probably nothing. Don... gets wrapped up in his work and forgets things," Charlie said lamely, knowing he was more accurately describing himself. He was saved from having to try and fill the silence by his cell phone ringing. He picked it up and listened intently for a minute, his face falling and his eyes filling with tears. He bit his lip hard to keep them from falling. "That was Megan," he said when he'd hung up the phone. "Don's in the hospital. He's--he's been shot."  
  
Charlie stomach was in knots. _Let him be okay. Please let him be okay_. He repeated the mantra over and over again from the time he hung up the phone until after they arrived at the hospital and sat waiting with the rest of the team. _Let him be okay. Please. Please.  
  
I never hugged him good-bye. We've hardly touched at all for two months. I miss him. I can't do this. Please let him be okay. Please._  
  
Don was sitting up in bed, eyes only a little cloudy with the pain meds, talking easily with the nurse who was taking his vitals when his Dad and Charlie came in. His leg was half bare where his jeans had been cut off by the EMTs. Blood had dried in the frayed denim around his thigh where the wound had bled. He'd been lucky. The bullet had just lodged in the muscle and had been easily removed. He'd lost a good amount of blood, but otherwise he was going to be just fine.   
  
He smiled when he saw his Dad and brother, each of them picking a side of the bed to stand on.  
  
"Donny--" his Dad started, but Don cut him off.  
  
"I'm fine, Dad. I lost a little blood and they're going to keep me here for a couple days, but I'm fine, okay? And you," he turned to Charlie, taking his hand and squeezing it, "don't you even think about blaming yourself. You weren't even helping me with this case. You don't know a thing about it."  
  
"I wasn't blaming myself for that," Charlie said hoarsely. He threw his arms around Don and held him as tightly as he dared.  
  
Don swallowed hard, wrapping Charlie in his arms as best he could and pulling him tighter. He blinked furiously against the tears threatening to spill over, partly from the joy of having Charlie in his arms and partly from the frustration of knowing it wouldn't last. Coughing a little, he finally pulled back and looked over at his Dad. His eyes were starting to droop as the medication made its way through his system.  
  
His Dad put a soft hand on his forehead, stroking his hair. "Sleep now, Donny. It's okay."  
  
Charlie didn't sleep well that night. He'd almost lost Don and there was so much unsaid, so much pain between them. It wasn't right.  
  
He wanted to be at the hospital, keeping his brother company while he slept but visiting hours were over and their dad thought they should all get some sleep.   
  
He'd already canceled his class the next day.  
  
Blinking groggily, Don woke slowly and it took him a minute to remember where he was. He shifted and tried to sit up, making a flash of pain shoot up his leg.  
  
"Easy, Don," Charlie said coming to stand next to his bed. "The pain meds have worn off."  
  
Don smiled, focusing on his brother's face. "Hey, buddy." He put a hand palm up on the bed and his smile grew when Charlie took it.  
  
"Hey," Charlie said softly. He reached over to adjust the bed so that Don could sit up but didn't let go of his brother's hand. "Want me to get a nurse?"  
  
"No," Don said, shaking his head, "I'm okay." Mostly though, he was afraid if he called a nurse in that Charlie would let go of his hand and he didn't want that. He glanced down at where their palms were pressed together, trying to tell himself not to get used to the feel of it because once he was out of the hospital, Charlie'd have no reason to hold his hand and they'd be right back where they started, lonely and frustrated.  
  
Charlie pulled a chair over and then replaced his hand in Don's, fingers gently tracing Don's, learning the shape and texture. "You scared the shit out of me you know."  
  
Shivering, Don pulled his hand out of Charlie's grasp. He didn't want to, it was in fact the very last thing he wanted to do, but it was too good and it hurt too much. "I'm sorry," Don said softly. "It'd just be too easy for me to get used to that and I don't think I could stand knowing we couldn't continue." He glanced at his brother's face. "And I'm sorry I scared you. Wasn't my idea."  
  
"I know," he said, voice rough with barely restrained emotion. He flexed his hand. "The important thing is that you're okay."  
  
"Yeah," Don nodded, smiling. He was glad to have Charlie nearby, even if it made his heart ache a little, too. "Did the doctors tell you anything about when they might let me out of here?"  
  
"They're hoping to get you out of here sometime tomorrow," Charlie said. "The next day at the latest." He paused. "Did you have that whole life flashing before your eyes thing?"  
  
Don laughed a little. "No. It hurt like a son of a bitch though. That was the worst part. That and the thought that if it was bad I might have to leave the FBI, but I knew I was going to be okay. Megan and David were right there, doing their best to get the bleeding under control." He kept to himself that Megan said he'd repeated Charlie's name over and over on his way to the hospital.  
  
Charlie instinctively reached out to squeeze Don's hand for comfort and then almost immediately let go. "I um, I can't imagine you doing anything else."  
  
"Neither can I," Don smiled, a real smile, but he shifted again, sending another spike of pain slicing along his nerves, worse this time. "Maybe you should get a nurse after all," he said, a little breathless as the wave of pain subsided. His leg throbbed and he wished he could stretch, take a walk. Charlie nodded and stood. Don caught his wrist, noting how Charlie's pulse raced under his fingers. "Thanks for being here."  
  
"No place else I'd rather be," Charlie said honestly. He pressed the call button on Don's bed. He hated seeing Don in pain, knowing it must be bad if his normally stoic brother was actually admitting that it bothered him.  
  
"Well, Agent Eppes," the nurse smiled at Don when she walked in. "How's the pain today?"  
  
"Not too bad," Don said, his wince belying his words. "Better than yesterday anyway." Another slice of pain shot up his leg. "But not much."  
  
The nurse smiled at Charlie in a way that said, 'Feds, they're all alike.' She nodded and scribbled something on a chart, pausing to check the monitors hooked up to Don. "I'll be right back."   
  
Don took a deep breath, trying to get his body's response to the pain back under control. The nurse returned with a syringe and injected something into Don's IV. "That'll help. You'll sleep for a while now." Smiling again and patting him on the foot, she turned and left.  
  
Almost immediately Don started to feel groggy again and his eyelids felt too heavy. "Charlie," he managed, putting his hand out again. Charlie took it and leaned over him.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere, Don. I'm right here."  
  
He blinked up into his brother's face, trying to get his brain to function enough to tell him he loved him, that he couldn't think of a single person he'd rather have at his side worrying over him, but he couldn't. Instead, he squeezed his hand as best as he could and drifted off to sleep.  
  
Charlie stayed the entire time Don was asleep, just watching him. He couldn't do this anymore, the mutual wanting and not having. If they continued as they were there wouldn't be anything left of their relationship as friends or brothers.  
  
Don dreamed, disconnected, disjointed dreams, but he was sure of one thing, in them he was permanently separated from Charlie and it sent panic tearing through him. He started awake to find his Dad calmly reading a magazine in the chair by his bed. "Where's Charlie?" he asked though his mouth felt like it'd been stuffed with a small cat.  
  
"Shh," his Dad soothed him, getting him a glass of water and adjusting the bed so he could sit up. "I sent him home. He'd been here with you all day and needed to get some rest."  
  
"Is he okay?"  
  
"He's fine, Donny. He's just worried about you. The doctor tells me you can probably go home tomorrow. You know, you can stay with us if that will be easier."  
  
Don thought about it for a long minute. Staying at his old house had a certain appeal. He could keep this, keep Charlie, close to him for a little while longer. But then what? He couldn't stay on bed rest forever, have Charlie worry about him and take care of him. Best to go back now, before he came too close to having what he always wanted. He shook his head. "No, I think it'll be okay. I'm sure the Bureau will have me out on medical leave for the next few days. I'll just sack out on my couch and watch old movies. The apartment's not that big and there aren't any stairs."  
  
"Okay, but if you change your mind--" though one look at Don's face told him he wasn't going to change his mind. "Come on, the doctors want you to start putting some weight on that leg."  
  
Charlie slept the sleep of the exhausted. The next morning he still hadn't figured out what to do for the long term, but for the short term he was going to stay with Don and make sure he actually gave himself time to recover.   
  
....  
  
"Hey Dad, where's Charlie?"  
  
"He's waiting for you at the apartment," Alan said, helping his eldest son off the bed.  
  
Don limped around his hospital room, dressing in his own clothes for the first time in three days. It was slow going and his leg twinged whenever he moved, but it was manageable. "He doesn't have to make a fuss," he said softly.  
  
"You know your brother," Alan said, and for him that ended the conversation.  
  
"Yeah," Don nodded.   
  
He checked out of the hospital and his Dad dropped him off at his apartment. David had dropped his car off and Don was glad to see it sitting in the parking lot.   
  
"You sure you don't want me to help you?" Alan said, watching as Don started to limp away.   
  
"I'm fine, Dad. I think I can make it the 50 feet to my building on my own." Don limped up to his building, forcing himself to remember to take the ramp up the front steps, waving as his Dad finally drove away. It was slow going, but he finally opened the door to his apartment with a sigh. He was tired. "Charlie!" he called. He turned, noticing for the first time a soft glow and a pleasant smell from his living room. He shuffled down the short hallway, finding Charlie standing in the middle of his immaculately clean living room, lit candles making his skin seem to glow. "You did this? For me?"  
  
"Yeah," he said shyly. "Is it--is this okay? Nevermind, you should sit, put that leg up or something."  
  
Don looked around, mouth open in surprise. It even looked like Charlie had been grocery shopping, based on the stack of neatly folded brown paper bags near his front door. Holding out an arm, he waited for Charlie to step forward and then pulled him close, pressing their mouths together in a soft, tender, confident kiss. "Thank you," he murmured, their lips brushing.  
  
"You're welcome," he said softly. "I um--I had this whole speech prepared about how we couldn't keep doing this because--because I can't not be with you. Didn't want--" he paused, voice tight with emotion. "Didn't want something to happen and not--not know."  
  
Shifting his grip, Don took Charlie's hand and pulled him over to the couch, sitting as he had suggested and putting his leg up on his coffee table. Charlie started to drift away, toward the other side of the couch, but Don pulled him close so he was sitting pressed against him. "I don't think you're going to need that speech," he murmured, tipping Charlie's head back and kissing him again.  
  
"Good," Charlie murmured, returning Don's kiss. His kiss was gentle, tender. Not pushing, not demanding anything.  
  
Don smiled into the kiss. It was as sweet and as lovely as Don had ever imagined their first kisses to be. He cupped Charlie's face in his hands, feeling his pulse beat rapidly against his fingertips as his tongue swept along his bottom lip, requesting entrance.  
  
Charlie parted his lips and moaned softly. He'd wanted this so badly for so very long.  
  
Their tongues slid easily along each other, neither of them rushing what they'd wanted for such a long time. Don explored Charlie's mouth, learning his taste and feel and then backed off, letting Charlie do the same. He pulled him closer, letting his hands roam along his chest and shoulders, down his side, feeling the warm fabric of his clothes and the solid body underneath. He tried to shift a little and get closer but his leg twinged, making him break the kiss with a wince.  
  
"You okay?" Charlie asked softly, tracing Don's cheek.  
  
Don nodded. "Yeah, I'm alright. Just still hurts every now and then." He wrapped his arm around Charlie, pulling him against his chest. "There was something I wanted to say to you in the hospital, but I could never seem to get the words to get from my head to my mouth." He tipped Charlie's chin up again, looking into his eyes. "I love you."  
  
Charlie's breath caught and his hands shook. "Don, I--I love you, too," he said softly. He leaned in for another long lingering kiss.  
  
Don kissed him a little more passionately this time, his hand drifting down to Charlie's hip and squeezing the muscle. He felt his body respond to having Charlie close, but every time he shifted closer, his leg complained. "God I want this so much," he whispered into Charlie's skin, nuzzling against him, kissing his jaw and neck. His thumb slipped under the hem of Charlie's t-shirt, caressing the soft skin at his waist. "Want you so much, I just--I don't think--"  
  
"Shh," Charlie said, running his fingers along Don's cheek. "It's okay. I'm not going anywhere. We have time."  
  
Nodding, Don kissed him again, softer. He felt his head start to droop. "I think I better go lie down. Come with me?"  
  
"Of course," Charlie said instantly. He got up first, offering Don his hand and helping his brother to the bedroom. "Want me to get you anything? Water? Pain pills?"  
  
Shaking his head, Don wrapped his arm around Charlie's shoulders, leaning on him just a little for support. "Not right now, no. Just come lie down with me, be in my arms. In some strange way, it helps."  
  
"Not so strange. Makes me feel better, too," Charlie said, settling into Don's arms.  
  
Don smiled, pulling Charlie close and settling into a comfortable position. He drifted easily off to sleep.  
  
....  
  
Charlie stayed with him the rest of the week, helping him get around the apartment, cook simple meals, but mostly they sat together on the couch, watching movies and games and talking. They talked about how Don's accident had changed their minds, about how they were going to pull off this new aspect to their relationship, how hard it was going to be to keep it from the people they cared about, and about how much they loved each other. After a week, Don was able to get around the apartment on his own and had almost completely stopped taking the pain pills. He still wasn't up for active duty yet, but the wound had healed into a nice scar. He sent Charlie back to work, but made him promise he would come by after his last class.  
  
He puttered around, making sure the apartment was clean and raiding the fridge for something he could make for dinner. He lit the candles around the apartment and stood almost exactly where Charlie had been when he heard Charlie's key in the door.  
  
"Honey, I'm--oh," Charlie said, taking in the candles and his brother, standing where he had stood a week ago. He carefully locked the door then made his way to Don, giving him a long, tender kiss. "Hi."  
  
"Hi," Don grinned, stroking his thumb along Charlie's cheek. "I hope you're hungry. I made dinner for us and I have a very special dessert planned." His voice dipped into a low, suggestive register Charlie had never heard before.  
  
Charlie shivered and claimed another kiss. He thought about suggesting they skip straight to dessert, but teasing Don over dinner could prove fun. "Starved," he said instead, letting his voice deepen.  
  
"Excellent," Don said, wrapping an arm around Charlie's shoulders and leading him into the kitchen. Charlie tried to help, but Don insisted he sit and talk about his day while Don finished up. This was his way of saying thank you for all the help, and he needed to do it himself. Carrying two plates, he set one in front of Charlie, accepting a quick kiss before he sat down next to him.  
  
Charlie chatted about his day and dug into his food. "This is amazing, Don, really."  
  
"I'm glad you like it," Don replied, ducking his head a little. He wanted everything about tonight to be perfect for them. He knew that romantic opportunities would likely be few and far between and he wanted to make the most out of this one.  
  
"So tell me about this dessert you have planned."  
  
Don grinned. "I have ice cream and chocolate sauce in the fridge, which I thought we could eat on the couch. And I thought maybe when we were done I would lean over and kiss you, like this." He demonstrated. "And I would lick away all traces of the ice cream from your lips and tongue, and we'd see where the dessert course took us from there." His voice was low, almost sultry, and his fingers toyed with the back of Charlie's hand.  
  
"Sounds perfect," Charlie said, leaning in for another kiss.  
  
Kissing Charlie deeply, Don licked his lips when the kiss was broken, savoring the taste of him on his tongue. "Don't think I'll ever get tired of that," he said almost to himself. "Are you finished with that?" Charlie nodded and Don put the plates in the sink, pulling bowls out and dishing them both a generous serving of ice cream. He grinned a little, watching Charlie drown his in chocolate, and followed him out to the couch. The lit candles gave the room a soft, warm glow, and it transferred to the feeling between them. Don took a spoonful of his ice cream and held it out for Charlie, smiling when their eyes locked and Charlie licked the treat from his spoon in a manner that'd be indecent out in public.  
  
Charlie grinned and draped his legs over Don's knees before leaning in for a kiss, letting Don devour his mouth and lick away all traces of ice cream and chocolate and coldness.  
  
Putting his bowl down, Don leaned over, claiming Charlie's mouth and pushing until Charlie's head rested on the couch's arm. He grabbed Charlie's bowl out of his hand, taking a large spoonful and teasing him with it until his brother whined a little. He dribbled the partially melted cream and sauce into his waiting mouth, licking at his chin where a few drops had escaped, and then plundered his mouth, chasing the taste of him.  
  
Charlie moaned and wrapped his arms around Don's back. He willingly opened his mouth, then chased Don's tongue back into his mouth.  
  
He echoed Charlie's moan, backing off enough to let his brother explore, battling gently with his tongue. When the kiss broke, he grabbed for Charlie's bowl again, scooping some ice cream into his own mouth before starting the process all over again.  
  
Charlie grinned and licked away all the ice cream from Don's mouth. "Could get used to having my ice cream like this."  
  
"Me too," Don grinned, eating some more of his ice cream. He leaned over again, licking at Charlie's jaw and ear, purring. "Do you want to finish your dessert? Or do you want to come with me into the bedroom?"  
  
Charlie laughed. "That's really a question? Bedroom, now."  
  
Standing, Don dumped Charlie's legs back to the floor, pulling him up by his hands and kissing him deeply. He walked him back toward the bedroom, kicking the bedroom door shut behind them, his hands working underneath the hem of Charlie's shirt.  
  
Charlie slipped his hand under Don's shirt, wanting to take it slow, make it last. His skin was warm, firm.  
  
"God Charlie," Don groaned a little, pushing into his touch. "I've wanted to do this for so long." His thumbs caressed his abs as his fingers wrapped around his sides. He bent his head, kissing his neck and nibbling on it lightly.  
  
"Me too," Charlie said, shivering and kissing Don's temple.  
  
"I realized I never asked, have you done this before?" Don looked Charlie in the eyes. It didn't really matter to him either way, though he had a vague sense of impending jealousy. He just needed to know exactly how slow he'd have to take things.  
  
Charlie hesitated, then nodded. "Yes. Have you?"  
  
"Yes. Not recently, but I have." He leaned down, kissing Charlie again, torn between being a little disappointed he wasn't the first and relieved at the same time. He inched his fingers up Charlie's torso, bunching the shirt over his arms, just letting himself feel the warm skin and muscle.  
  
Charlie shivered. "There won't be anyone else after this," he said quietly, meeting Don's gaze.  
  
"No. No one else. Only you," Don agreed. He removed Charlie's shirt finally, bending his head to lick and suck at his skin.  
  
Charlie smiled. "I meant--I don't want anyone else, Don. Just you. Only you."  
  
Understanding dawned and Don stepped back a little. "You're--you're talking about commitment. About you and me. Forever." He still held Charlie close in his arms but was looking at him closely in the eyes now.  
  
"Of course. I thought--I thought that's what this was." Had he been reading everything wrong?  
  
All the air seemed to rush from Don's lungs and he trembled a little in Charlie's arms. He knew Charlie loved him deeply, wanted him badly, but--forever? He hardly dared to hope for it. Charlie was so amazingly beautiful and talented and with quite a bit left of his future, Don had been sure he would one day tire of a life lived in secret and look elsewhere. He should have known, if Charlie was going to, he would have done it when they were still trying to deny how they felt. A huge grin split his face.  
  
"Charlie, you really mean that?" Don said softly.  
  
Charlie nodded, biting his lip anxiously. Don pulled Charlie close again, crushing their mouths together in his joy. "Hold on," Don said, pecking him on the lips when Charlie clutched at his wrist. "I'm not going far, I promise." He walked over to his dresser and opened a small box, pulling something from it. "It--it's probably too big for you, and it'd probably only raise eyebrows if people saw you wearing it. I'll get you a chain for it later, but for now," he held his FBI class ring out to Charlie timidly, "it's the best I can do." He took Charlie's left hand and slid it on his index finger.  
  
His eyes stung with unexpected tears. "Don--I wasn't expecting--thank you," he said hoarsely, pulling his brother into a fierce hug.  
  
Don cradled Charlie against him. "I love you," he whispered into Charlie's hair. "And I want you to be mine, forever. I wish I could share how happy you make me with everyone. I wish you could wear that ring out in public, but it's enough for me to know you have it and to know what it means to us." He smiled, thinking how right it felt that he made this declaration, this pledge to Charlie even before the first time they made love. It just made what he was about to do next all the sweeter.   
  
He kissed Charlie again, walking him the last few paces to the bed, and laid him down on the mattress, covering him with his body. Charlie tugged at his shirt and Don broke the kiss just long enough to help Charlie remove it.  
  
"I love you," he said softly. "I've always loved you."  
  
Don kissed Charlie's neck and collarbone, his heart twisting at the sound of Charlie's voice, part joy, part regret that they'd waited so long. He was determined to erase those regrets, the product of their own foolishness. His hand drifted down Charlie's side, caressing the skin and dipping into the waist of his jeans. "I need you, Charlie."  
  
Charlie met Don's brown eyes and nodded. "Please," he said softly.  
  
His fingers pulled at Charlie's belt, opening the fly of his jeans slowly, looking deep into his eyes. Gently, he rolled his jeans down his narrow hips, kissing his skin and pulling the material off his legs. He kissed his way up, his lips brushing the inside of Charlie's thigh.  
  
Charlie shivered and moaned, his breath hitching when Don's lips brushed his thigh. "Don," he whispered.  
  
Don's hands worked under the legs of Charlie's boxers, blunt fingernails teasing at the skin. He dropped his head, tonguing the outline of Charlie's cock through the material, sucking on just the head.  
  
Charlie moaned, fighting to keep from bucking into that heat. "Don!"  
  
Grinning, Don lifted his head and kissed Charlie hungrily while his fingers carefully slipped his boxers off his hips. He helped Charlie free his legs before bending his head to Charlie's hip bones, kissing a line across them as he wrapped a hand around his cock and stroked firmly.  
  
Charlie cried out, clutching at Don's skin. "Wait, what about you?"  
  
"In a minute," Don replied absently. He wanted to play for a little longer, draw more of those delicious sounds out of him before he gave himself over to Charlie to explore.  
  
"Okay." He smiled and ran his fingers through Don's short hair.  
  
Don shivered. He sucked on Charlie a little longer, varying his pace, starting to learn what would get which kind of reaction from him. He gasped when Don's teeth gently scraped at the skin, but he moaned low and loud when his tongue teased at the slit. His own erection throbbed and finally, he lifted his head, crawling up Charlie's body. Wrapping him in his arms and kissing him, sharing his taste, he rolled until Charlie was on top.  
  
Charlie smiled and kissed Don tenderly. He licked his way down Don's chest, exploring and experimenting.  
  
"Mmm, Charlie," Don whispered, running his hand through Charlie's curls. He gasped when Charlie's teeth found his nipple, and he fought not to squirm under the tender ministrations.  
  
Charlie smiled and licked his way lower, hands finally settling on Don's crotch. He let them stay there for a moment, letting Don absorb the warmth through the denim.  
  
He pushed his hips into Charlie's hand in invitation, gasping when his clever fingers traced the outline of his cock through the denim.  
  
Charlie smiled and slowly undid the fly of Don's jeans. "Okay?"  
  
"More than okay," Don breathed, letting the sensations wash over him. "Fantastic."  
  
"Good." Charlie smiled and slowly stripped Don of his jeans, taking the time to kiss and nip at his legs, the arch of his foot.  
  
"Oh God, Charlie," Don moaned. He was quivering, trying to ride through the waves and shocks of pleasure that ran along his nerves. Reaching out, he pulled Charlie up, needing to claim his mouth before he could let him continue.  
  
Charlie let Don set the tone of the kiss, trying to give him whatever he needed.  
  
Don ran his hands along the smooth skin of Charlie's back down to his ass, cupping and kneading the firm flesh. He devoured Charlie's mouth, kissing him hungrily, passionately, before he finally released him.  
  
Charlie moaned and whined, grinding himself against Don's body.  
  
"Fuck, yes," Don breathed. "Charlie, want--want your mouth on me, want to feel that before I take you, make you mine."  
  
Charlie immediately started to kiss his way back down Don's body, licking at the head of his cock and moaning with pleasure at the taste.  
  
Arching his neck, Don echoed Charlie's moan. The wet heat of Charlie's tongue was so good and he thought he might die of pleasure right then and there. He wanted more, wanted it now, and he threaded a hand into Charlie's hair, barely resisting the urge to push his head closer to his goal.  
  
Charlie sucked in the head of Don's cock, licking and grazing lightly with his teeth.  
  
Don hissed lightly and Charlie immediately soothed him with his tongue, lapping at the spot. "Oh fuck," Don moaned. "So good, Charlie. Please." He wasn't entirely sure what he was asking for, only that Charlie could provide it.  
  
Charlie sucked a little more in, using teeth and tongue to give Don all the pleasure he could.  
  
Melting into the mattress a little, Don's hips made small, restless movements into Charlie's mouth and he could feel the coil start to tighten in his spine. Too soon, and there was so much more he wanted to do with Charlie before he came. Pulling a little on his shoulders, Don got him to come up far enough to kiss him again, rolling to put Charlie on his back. He dug through his nightstand and pulled out a bottle of lubricant, managing to slick his fingers and drop them between Charlie's legs without breaking the kiss. He nudged the first one at Charlie's entrance.  
  
Charlie shivered and tried to force himself to relax. It would be okay. This was Don.  
  
Don slid his finger in slowly, feeling the instinctive resistance of the muscle and pausing until Charlie could adjust. He didn't want to rush this. He wanted everything about it to be perfect.  
  
Charlie waited until he was adjusted then nodded. "It's okay," he said softly, giving Don a quick kiss.  
  
Sliding his finger in and out slowly, he watched as Charlie's eyelids dipped and a low, soft moan escaped between his teeth. He smiled and placed a second finger next to the first, starting the process over again, except this time when he was in all the way, he crooked his fingers, prodding at his prostate.  
  
Charlie cried out as his whole body convulsed in pleasure. "Don!"  
  
That was it, Don broke. He scissored his fingers, stretching Charlie just that bit more before sliding a condom on and slicking his cock. He was hungry, desperate, and needed to be inside him. Now. He pushed Charlie's leg up, hooking it over his shoulder as he nudged the tip of his cock at his entrance and then slid slowly inside.  
  
Charlie tried to keep his eyes open, to keep looking at Don but his eyelids fluttered shut with pleasure as he tried to absorb the sensation.  
  
"Still with me, buddy?" Don whispered, caressing Charlie's skin.  
  
Charlie forced his eyes open and nodded. "I'm here," he whispered back.  
  
Nodding and smiling, Don started to move. He set an easy pace, wanting to drive Charlie's pleasure as high as he could before tipping them both over that delicious edge. Charlie was hot, tight, and a breathy continuous moan escaped between Don's teeth. "God, so good, Charlie."  
  
"Don!" He said his brother's name over and over again, hands moving restlessly along Don's back and sides, trying to find the right rhythm for Don's pleasure.  
  
Charlie settled into Don's pace, meeting his thrusts easily, and pleasure shot along Don's spine. It was better than he could have possibly imagined it, and he couldn't hold back anymore. He shifted, angling to hit Charlie's prostate with every sharp, rapid thrust as he wrapped his hand around Charlie's cock and stroked him firmly in time. He could feel the coil start to tighten in his spine, unsure how much longer he could last.  
  
Charlie's hands tightened on Don's arms. "Don please, please," he whispered. He was close, so very close.  
  
"C'mon, Charlie," Don grunted. "Let go."  
  
Charlie came crying Don's name, hands clutching at Don's skin, and looking his brother in the eye as long as he could.  
  
The feel of Charlie clenching around him was too much, and Don let go, an inarticulate shout ripping from the back of his throat. Pleasure zinged along his nerves, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd ever felt so good. He caught himself on his forearms, panting hard as the aftershocks hit him.  
  
Charlie forced leaden arms to stroke Don's back, soothing him as best he could. He planted a few kisses on his temple, licking lightly at his skin.  
  
Don shuddered and pulled gently out of Charlie, arranging himself next to him with a contented sigh. "I love you," he said, his voice hoarse and strained with sex and emotion.  
  
"I love you too," Charlie said, voice hoarse. "So much."  
  
Don toyed with the ring on Charlie's index finger. "Looks good on you. Better than it did on me. You and I will go find a chain for it tomorrow."  
  
"I'd like that," Charlie said softly.  
  
He brought the hand with the ring on it to his lips, kissing the knuckle softly. "Mine. Forever."  
  
"Forever," Charlie agreed, kissing him gently.  
  
Wrapping his arms around him, Don pulled Charlie into the kiss, putting everything he had behind it. When Don released him, Charlie sighed contentedly and rested his head on Don's shoulder, his eyelids heavy and drooping. Somehow, Don knew that things wouldn't always be this easy between them. There were going to be battles to fight, fears and insecurities, but he also knew that as long as Charlie loved him, they'd get through it. He kissed Charlie's temple and snuggled down into his heat, drifting easily off to sleep.


End file.
